Latinx Women Who Have Shaped Me

This Hispanic Heritage Month, I want to celebrate the Latinx women in my household and history who have shaped who I am as a Latina today. ​

Doris Cruz

Growing up, some people idolize actresses, athletes, activists. Me? It was my grandmother. I called her “Tata” and she had an enormous impact on my life. She was a strong, independent and caring woman who would do literally anything for her family. She had been there for every major event in my life – from my birth to my divorce - and is the most amazing woman I have ever met.

I couldn't imagine my life without her… and then I had to because she passed away last year.

She taught me a lot of lessons: how to never stop chasing after my dreams, what quite strength looks like, and how to never leave the house at least a little put together because you never know who you will run into (ask Connor about this – he’s gotten it drilled into his head by now). She taught me how to be a giver (no matter how many times being so generous has backfired on her, she continued), how to be a comforting shoulder, and was a fountain of advice (such as how to cook a certain dish or general life questions).

I could write books about how much Tata means to me, but I can’t because I usually end up a puddle of tears when I think about how much she will miss – seeing me graduate with my PhD, seeing my younger brother and I get married, seeing our kids (her great grandkids).
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A large part of who I am today – especially my emotional intelligence – is because of her. I can never thank her enough.

Evelyn Villalobos

My mother and I had a rough relationship growing up; there were many times when I hated her and felt that she didn’t want me to breathe and have a life (hello dramatic teenager). Now as an adult, I have a close relationship with my mom, and am keenly aware of the impact she had on my life.

On top of the usual generational conflicts, one of the biggest challenges we faced was the tension between two dominant women in a household. Mami didn’t raise ninguna tonta and that was the problem- she taught me fierce independence from a young age (something I sort of lost sight of in my early 20’s as I tried to make a failing marriage). Which meant that as I grew up as a teenage the culture of where she came from (Puerto Rico) and the culture of where we currently lived (Florida) reared its head- there were many times when I was told I couldn’t do something because “that’s not how it’s done in this household” but I was utterly confused because we were in the 21st century not 1960’s Puerto Rico.

There are many things my mother and I have in common: our taste in travel, enjoying HGTV “House Hunters,” and music we can dance to (lol my mom is one of those people who dances very confidently as my brother and I cringe. Love you mom!). Within these memories are lessons that helped me fiercely stand in my truth (and still leads to butting heads sometimes). I think fondly back to sitting together and watching HGTV (or the “Home Gets Fixed” channel as seven-year-old Melissa proudly proclaimed), and it bonded us in a way that I could always go back to when we were fighting about how I wasn’t allowed to go to junior prom or for have my boyfriend come over. Sassiness… she taught me that too. 

Eva Longoria

“The growing Latina population is an untapped resource in this country. If we give Latinas the tools to unlock their potential, we will see amazing results.”
​– Eva Longoria

Eva Longoria is an incredible role model to young Latinas and women. While many believe the high-profile Latina to just be a (very successful) actress, she has done so much more! The Mexican- American was studying for her masters while acting on Desperate Housewives, writing a fascinating thesis about the necessity of having more Latinas in careers in science, technology, engineering and maths (STEM) in the US.

Yes, you read that correctly. Not to mention she is also a New York Times bestselling author, director, producer, and philanthropist (founding the Eva Longoria Foundation in 2012 to help Latinas build better futures for themselves and their families through education/entrepreneurship). She regularly uses her platform(s) for supporting Latinxs’ rights and taught me, “you have to go in the room triple prepared, more educated on the subject, and with more bells and whistles than any man.”

I also live by her quote: “I don’t do anything without thinking of the Latina community. I don’t speak for the Latino community, I speak with them. Empower them to speak for themselves, which is the ultimate goal for a role model.”

Sonia Sotomayor

“When a young person, even a gifted one, grows up without proximate living examples of what she may aspire to become— whether lawyer, scientist, artist, or leader in any realm— her goal remains abstract. Such models as appear in books or on the news, however inspiring or revered, are ultimately too remote to be real, let alone influential. But a role model in the flesh provides more than an inspiration; his or her very existence is confirmation of possibilities one may have every reason to doubt, saying, “Yes, someone like me can do this.”
-Sonia Sotomayor, My Beloved World

​One of the first ‘Latina role models’ I learned about was Sonia Sotomayor, the first person of Latin American descent to join the United States of America Supreme Court in its 220-year history. Not only that, but she was third female Supreme Court Justice in the history of the USA (and first Type 1 Diabetic to serve on the bench)!

Born in 1954 to a Puerto Rican couple who moved to New York in search of a better life, Sotomayor had a childhood filled with difficulties from her alcoholic father to rough living conditions. Reading was one of her favorite ways of escaping (same here, Sonia): “Through reading, I escaped the bad parts of my life in the South Bronx. And, through books, I got to travel the world and the universe. It, to me, was a passport out of my childhood and it remains a way — through the power of words — to change the world.”

Nicknamed Ají (“hot pepper”) by family members due to her fiery stubbornness, she beats the odds by becoming valedictorian of her high school class, attending Princeton and then Yale Law School, and then working for the New York County District Attorney before being appointed as a federal judge in New York.

She is an absolute inspiration to anyone who feels marginalized or excluded in the USA, and is a constant source of inspiration for ‘taking your community with you’ as she continues to speak out in favor of diversity in higher education: “until we get equality in education, we won’t have an equal society.”
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Her autobiography, My Beloved World, touches on topics and feelings that many Latinxs can relate to (such as imposter syndrome and family pressures/influences on one’s life). The lessons she shared in her book are ones that mirror the ones I had to learn during my university years. To me, she embodies the saying, “I will not diminish myself to make me easier to swallow, you can kindly choke.” Sonia Sotomayor taught me that all Latinxs can be role models “in the flesh” and we must continue helping the younger Latinxs (our comunidad) along the way.

Ellen Ochoa

If you ever wanted a role model that encouraged you to reach for the stars, who better than Dr. Ellen Ochoa? She has had an incredible 30-year career at NASA, joining a nine-day mission aboard the space shuttle Discovery in 1993 and becoming the first Hispanic woman in the world to go to space! With over 1,000 hours in space across four missions, she conducted a lot of experiments and projects while aboard including help assemble the International Space Station (ISS). When she was Deputy Director of NASA Johnson Space Center, she was the first Hispanic director and second female director.

For Ochoa, seeing Sally Ride become the first American woman in space (1983) was monumental. “Seeing someone who had things in common with me [join NASA’s astronaut program and go to space] made a huge difference to me in terms of thinking, ‘This is something I can actually do,’” Ochoa once said. A known trailblazer and an innovator, she was actually at first discouraged from going down a path of math and science, and is now known as the scientist who developed ways for computers to ‘see’ objects and analyze them.
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Dr. Ochoa’s career shows how important representation is for Blacks, Indigenous, and People of Color. Her work also lends to the idea that having an multi-cultural and collaborative mindset is key, which is something I’ve kept in the back of my mind with every step I’ve taken during my career.

what latina role models have shaped who you are?